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Jokes
Oct 13, 2010 16:20:13 GMT
Post by lonesomeboatman on Oct 13, 2010 16:20:13 GMT
Sat opposite an Indian woman on the train the other day,
she shut her eyes and spot breathing
I thought she was dead until I saw the red dot on her head.....
Then I realised she was on stand-by ;D
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2010 21:10:33 GMT
Post by Homer on Oct 13, 2010 21:10:33 GMT
A man says to his wife "do you want to play a sex game called rape". Wife says "NO". He says "good girl thats the spirit"
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2010 21:17:43 GMT
Post by Homer on Oct 13, 2010 21:17:43 GMT
whats the diffrence between an african orphan and a pair of trousers ?
a pair of trousers only has one fly on it
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2010 21:20:32 GMT
Post by Homer on Oct 13, 2010 21:20:32 GMT
What do you call a Chinese Woman with a Food Processor on her head?
Brenda
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2010 22:05:22 GMT
Post by pele on Oct 13, 2010 22:05:22 GMT
One of the Chilean miners is said to be distraught after discovering he forgot to clock in!!
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2010 22:13:00 GMT
Post by Baby PJ on Oct 13, 2010 22:13:00 GMT
One of the miners is headin over to liverpool - hes convinced he can get them out of a hole !!! lol
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2010 23:15:52 GMT
Post by BFP on Oct 13, 2010 23:15:52 GMT
ill not repeat another joke doing the rounds....oh f**k it i will...............
And the last miner out is........................Madeline McCann.
i know i know, its sick, but i didnt make it up!!!
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Jokes
Oct 14, 2010 10:12:20 GMT
Post by thorny on Oct 14, 2010 10:12:20 GMT
I met a guy in a shop yesterday who reminded me of Michael Jackson.
He said "Remember Michael Jackson"
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Jokes
Oct 14, 2010 12:24:47 GMT
Post by 2left feet on Oct 14, 2010 12:24:47 GMT
ordered a Gary glitter costume for a fancy dress party the other day , it arrived but was too small . think its for f**king kids .
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Jokes
Oct 14, 2010 13:18:27 GMT
Post by Rab on Oct 14, 2010 13:18:27 GMT
funny you mentioned gary glitter, he is now in Chile. Only place where you can slide a minor up and down your shaft and get applauded
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Jokes
Oct 14, 2010 16:03:30 GMT
Post by square on Oct 14, 2010 16:03:30 GMT
A Scottish woman comes home from work early to find her husband masterbating into a welly....she slams the door and screams at him...."stop f**king aboot!!!" ;D ;D
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Jokes
Oct 15, 2010 16:21:59 GMT
Post by EL HADJI DIOUF on Oct 15, 2010 16:21:59 GMT
the chick near caught me watching a liverpool match on tv.so i whipped the cock out and put on porn to save the embarressment..
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Jokes
Oct 15, 2010 23:03:37 GMT
Post by mrfish on Oct 15, 2010 23:03:37 GMT
I met a guy in a shop yesterday who reminded me of Michael Jackson. He said "Remember Michael Jackson" Hahahahaha!!!!!!! Joke of the thread!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D |
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Jokes
Oct 15, 2010 23:04:57 GMT
Post by mrfish on Oct 15, 2010 23:04:57 GMT
My wife argued with me that men can't muti task. I proved her wrong by wanking and looking at her sister's holiday photo's at the same time!!!
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Jokes
Oct 15, 2010 23:18:50 GMT
Post by mrfish on Oct 15, 2010 23:18:50 GMT
A man danders into McGroggans and say to his wife, "what flavour do ye want"? "Chocolate", she replies.
He then slaps his son and says, "what do you want fat head"?
Before the kid can answer the appauled shop keeper asks, "why did you just slap your son and call him fat head"?
He replies, "look, there's 3 things in this life a man wishes for. A big car, which I have, a beautiful big home, again I have and finally a wife with a nice tight pussy. I had one of those too until fat head came along"!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Jokes
Oct 15, 2010 23:21:20 GMT
Post by mrfish on Oct 15, 2010 23:21:20 GMT
Just got a new 3D TV. It's some job.
I fell asleep during the Liverpool game and when I woke up me wallet was missing!!
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Jokes
Oct 16, 2010 19:56:51 GMT
Post by weedo on Oct 16, 2010 19:56:51 GMT
haha very good fish!
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Jokes
Oct 19, 2010 17:53:57 GMT
Post by weedo on Oct 19, 2010 17:53:57 GMT
i said to the missus let's play Chilean miners, she said "you want me to go down your shaft till i reach the bottom??"
i said no, f**k off out of my sight for 4 months!!
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Jokes
Oct 19, 2010 22:08:00 GMT
Post by rubberman on Oct 19, 2010 22:08:00 GMT
in a recent survey,six outta seven dwarfs said they weren`t happy......................
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Phil
New Signing
Posts: 37
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Jokes
Oct 27, 2010 21:44:43 GMT
Post by Phil on Oct 27, 2010 21:44:43 GMT
Neil Lennon is going to a Halloween party this weekend/ He is going to dress as a pumpkin in the hope he might turn into a coach at midnight!
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Phil
New Signing
Posts: 37
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Jokes
Oct 27, 2010 21:46:43 GMT
Post by Phil on Oct 27, 2010 21:46:43 GMT
Stephen Hawkins was out on a date last weekend. When he returned back however his glasses were broken, he had a broken nose, a bruised lip, grazed knees, a broken wrist and a sprained ankle. Apparently she stood him up!
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Jokes
Oct 27, 2010 21:49:38 GMT
Post by mrfish on Oct 27, 2010 21:49:38 GMT
Neil Lennon is going to a Halloween party this weekend/ He is going to dress as a pumpkin in the hope he might turn into a coach at midnight! I've got my eye on you Philip!!   |
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Phil
New Signing
Posts: 37
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Jokes
Oct 27, 2010 22:01:40 GMT
Post by Phil on Oct 27, 2010 22:01:40 GMT
I texted my boss, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"
He answered, "I don't know."
I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning."
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Jokes
Oct 27, 2010 22:30:46 GMT
Post by d1986 on Oct 27, 2010 22:30:46 GMT
Who's the coolest guy at the Hospital?
The ultra sound guy.
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Jokes
Oct 27, 2010 22:33:23 GMT
Post by samassi abou on Oct 27, 2010 22:33:23 GMT
and whos the coolest when hes not there ?
the hip replacement guy.
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Jokes
Oct 27, 2010 22:42:43 GMT
Post by Mitty on Oct 27, 2010 22:42:43 GMT
fuzz and the riddler, both were silly as f**k but had a while laugh at both of them  |
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Jokes
Oct 27, 2010 22:48:43 GMT
Post by d1986 on Oct 27, 2010 22:48:43 GMT
I really regret tellin u that earlier Riddler! I tee'd it up and u just stroked the best part.
Altho I preferred the blind circumcisionist...unfortunately he got the sack.
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Jokes
Oct 28, 2010 0:03:49 GMT
Post by Baby PJ on Oct 28, 2010 0:03:49 GMT
What's long, wet and makes no sense?
Harvey Price's Christmas list.
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Jokes
Oct 28, 2010 0:04:36 GMT
Post by Baby PJ on Oct 28, 2010 0:04:36 GMT
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Momentum
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Jokes
Oct 28, 2010 8:17:40 GMT
Post by ratman on Oct 28, 2010 8:17:40 GMT
What do you call a gang of racist shellfish? The Klu Klux Klams...
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