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Post by mrfish on Oct 22, 2009 11:20:02 GMT
This is a wee thread where we Broadway folk can contribute and add our thoery on the life and times of one of the towns most rare creations, the Cormac Gordon. ;D Basically, take up the story from where the previous person (probably me) left off, continuing with your opinion on what happened next....  |
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Post by mrfish on Oct 22, 2009 11:39:33 GMT
On the 7th day of January in the year 1993 Mickey Agustine Ronnie Flannagan Gordon fathered an infant child who he decided to name Cormac after the chocolate fugde type bar he believed he had to feed him with quick in order to save his life as he was born weighing -4 pound 3 ounces.
When Mickey first brought Cormac home in his old double strapped Gola Schoolbag, his neighbours in the normally peaceful Fisherwick estate thought he'd just returned from a missionary pilgrimage in Ruwanda and that he had adopted one of the orphan children there.......
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Post by rubberman on Oct 22, 2009 14:38:43 GMT
On the 7th day of January in the year 1993 Mickey Agustine Ronnie Flannagan Gordon fathered an infant child who he decided to name Cormac after the chocolate fugde type bar he believed he had to feed him with quick in order to save his life as he was born weighing -4 pound 3 ounces. When Mickey first brought Cormac home in his old double strapped Gola Schoolbag, his neighbours in the normally peaceful Fisherwick estate thought he'd just returned from a missionary pilgrimage in Ruwanda and that he had adopted one of the orphan children there....... on struggling to feed the meer toothpick micky ronnie looked down apon him,when suddenly a thought struck him,he could use cormac,but after approaching every eateries in the sleepy town none of which deemed him strong enough for the toothpick roll, ronnie was again beaten docket,on the way home ronnie got to the front door and when fiddling for his keys young cormac made a lunge for the keyhole and low and behold passed through with room to spare,ronnies eyes lit up, do i use this for good or for bad.............................................................................................................................................to be continued |
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Post by Cmac on Oct 22, 2009 17:51:57 GMT
He then thought of using young cormac as a needle
He then used this needle to knit a bunch of tank tops for a certain darren bergoyne and a wig for fish and a hat for chrisy o neill......................................................................................................................................TO BE CONTINUED
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Post by mrfish on Oct 26, 2009 13:35:54 GMT
........His spell as a needle for Berdoings tank tops proved a handy number for Cormac because, as we've seen in training, he isn't fond of doing much work and luckily there wasn't alot of work involved in making Darren tops as there was little to them. Sadly however, being involved in the production of wigs for the fish proved a more tricky task as the recceding hair line more than made up for the receeding sleeve length of Berdoings tops and for a fringe alone Cormac would have to spend night after night working on the tupay (according to MadMan there ye need a needle to make a wig. Who am I to rock the boat.....lol). This overtime caused poor cormac to miss meals and also school lessons therefore contibuting to his ability to fit into an ethiopeans outkit and type sentences on football forums on the internet with the same educated splender as Egor typing his "best man's" speech for his sister Eileen's wedding to Blue "Spoon" Donegan Kruger.
Another stressful time was Cormac's Baptism. It was feared by auld Father McGrady that Cormac was too little and fragile to be held over the Baptism Font as to someone of his physical stature it would be the same to us as someone holding us over Kernoghans Lane river so he filled an egg cup with Holy Water and, luckily enough, Cormac's egg head fitted right in and he was welcomed into the Parish as our first Simalian member. However, the Holy Water seemed to act as a growth fluid and from nowhere, Cormac's Johnny Bravo fringe was born.........
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Post by rubberman on Oct 28, 2009 13:19:03 GMT
on recieving the holy water some spilled onto his brow which daddy ronnie wiped away, but the holy water/growth fluid had touched on his eyebrows, and as if magic out pops two granny smith shaped bushes, cormac had to then get a hurling stick cable tied to his back to keep him from arching over due to the weight of his excessive head,
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Post by mrfish on Oct 28, 2009 13:35:27 GMT
Sadly though for poor Ronnie his hurley tactic was to no avail as young Cormac was sporting one of the most prominent heads a fanny had ever ejected and unfortunatley he spent the remaining years of his development banging his face aff the pavements of Ballymena. This in turn caused him to take 14 consectutive "Fisherwick's Ugliest Son" awards at the Fisherwick Civic Week, smashing Liam Lyness's 9 in a row titles in the same event. The cup was later renamed "The Cormac Gordon Trophy" and Ronnie became the happiest father of the ugliest wein in the area......
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Post by cormac on Nov 4, 2009 10:44:03 GMT
He then grew up and joined broadway celtic
He now has plans to follow in the foot steps of his hero fish and become a delivery boy and deliver fast food on a wee moped
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Post by mrfish on Nov 6, 2009 12:47:40 GMT
He then grew up and joined broadway celtic He now has plans to follow in the foot steps of his hero fish and become a delivery boy and deliver fast food on a wee moped And get an education AND learn how to type for himself instead of waiting for Daddy Ronnie to finish his shift and type for him AND trying to injure Deccy who he brought to Broadway but didn't realise Deccy would preform better and push him further down the pecking order AND smuggle the food he is meant to be delivering via moped to his orphan siblings in Tibet AND expanding his career as a Keyhole/Turd Burgler whilst trying to successfully apply for X-Factor to do his remdition of "Like a Virgin" which some donar Madonna wrote to coincide with the upcoming movie "Being A Queer Called Cormac" depicting the life and times of the skinniest person ever to stand on the scales outside Boots in the Fairhill, Cormac Bones Gordon, from the makers of Trocaire, rated PG..... |
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