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Post by pele10 on Jan 15, 2010 11:41:42 GMT
Barry the Blender is an absolute legend:
" Chuckie Norris - good mate of my da's"
"aye, had broken nose, teeth busted and blood everywherel, but as i said, SHE started it, so fu*k her!"
Class!
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Post by mrfish on Jan 15, 2010 12:58:35 GMT
.....pure raging, it's like I'm sitting here doing cold turkey!!! I can't access that in work and I'm dying to see what it is!! I was ready to take a half day and head home, it's that bad!!! lol...
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Post by mrfish on Jan 15, 2010 13:08:53 GMT
lol, this thread is brilliant! On the topic of greg young, I heard he was head boy at dunfane. He was delighted, probably didn't realise that this made him chief spastic, literally. Ratman, you mentioned victor. I always remember being wil' jealous of him. Lying about the town all day drinking, not a care in the world. I tried it a few times, but it just didn't work out in the end. Plus, my ma grounded me... I like your style Andy, any young Ballymena man who aspires to live like Victor is my kind of shem. I myself had a brief spell at it also but I wasn't hardcore enough for that lifestyle. After picking up crisp packets with mad Jock, downing four cans of Special Brew with Bobby Faith and helping mad Mary pull her begs back up after dropping a big jobby behind Tescos and using a rizzla to wipe her shuck with I packed er in. Although it pains me that I wasn't cut out for a life on the XXX Larger and sleeping under a thorne bush using another "victor" as a blanket, I can take homage in the fact that I gave it a go and lived, albeit briefly, amongst true legends of the Ballymena Borough.... |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2010 18:08:59 GMT
 Pure Beaut!! |
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Post by mrfish on Jan 17, 2010 14:34:32 GMT
Hahahahaha, what an ejit
Top class!!! Frank Bruno.......
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Post by andy on Jan 17, 2010 20:05:58 GMT
mrfish there is no shame in that. you can now say you lived the dream, you have been on the front line, slept under thorn bushes and drank triple x lager on a tuesday morning. like you say though, although the lifestyle is glorious, its hard to maintain. in fact, a lot of the big multi national corporations are sending their junior executives to the streets of ballymena to train them up. its called "lifestyle training." Mad Mary and Jock are key note speakers. Mary s**t hersel in the middle of hers last time though....
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Post by mrfish on Jan 18, 2010 14:43:05 GMT
Is she still at that auld spontaneous anal combustion?? Cretor has been plauged with it and it's just one of those sad things that can't be helped.
Apparently, this condition is a regular occurance among those socialites who participate in what is known as "Victorism" and is a break down in it's victims colon. It hardens up until it becomes a "semi-colon" and bits fall aff and out your arse. Next thing ye know yer dropping jobbies all over the place..
It's a similar condition to queer men but it's a different kind of semi altogether which causes that....
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Post by pele on Jan 26, 2010 10:58:12 GMT
Big Eugene''sweatypits'' McReynolds used to sit outside St Pats at 3 o clock and rev the feck outta his nissan micra way the sunglasses on and eye of the tiger blasting haha. A real asset to the community chief scout and captain of the all saints bowls team his brother is a wise one too. A true legend Eugene  Page 26 of the times the two McReynolds brothers lovely boys  |
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Post by mrfish on Jan 26, 2010 12:12:48 GMT
.....ah sham I'm in Belfast heredying to see it for an auld laugh!!! haha..
If Smiley were up here I'd ask him to nip over to the shop for it.
Mind one day in Derry we asked him to lift a Ballymena Times in the shop and when he couldn't find it on the shelves he went and asked behind the till for it!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by ratman on Jan 26, 2010 12:17:09 GMT
im well looking forward to seeing this..anyone see the guardian the motbility cove that loves the dope phoned the peelers and told them somebody stroked his dope??
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Post by mrfish on Jan 26, 2010 12:22:10 GMT
....Hahaha, no way?  That man's a lunitic. I come out of O'Hanlons one night absolutly steaming and heard this weird noise, looked in the direction of the traffic and there was nothing coming and then out of nowhere he came rallying past me from the other direction up the wrong way just smiling away to himself!!! lol.... |
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Post by pele on Jan 26, 2010 12:41:00 GMT
im well looking forward to seeing this..anyone see the guardian the motbility cove that loves the dope phoned the peelers and told them somebody stroked his dope?? Hahaha Fred Downey it wast dope it was his ''medication'' the old judge went nuts saying in all his years on the bar he never heard a story like it ;D |
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Post by pele on Jan 26, 2010 12:42:08 GMT
.....ah sham I'm in Belfast heredying to see it for an auld laugh!!! haha.. If Smiley were up here I'd ask him to nip over to the shop for it. Mind one day in Derry we asked him to lift a Ballymena Times in the shop and when he couldn't find it on the shelves he went and asked behind the till for it!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D This reminds me of rooster years ago we took him down to kfc gave him a fiver and asked to get a fish supper. |
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Post by mrfish on Jan 27, 2010 11:56:25 GMT
....Hahaha, I got big Paddy Mooney (painter) with that one up in KFC in Antrim one lunch time, the old ones are the best!!!! It was his turn to buy and he said to me "what do ye want"?? For a laugh I said "they do a lethal Fish Supper in here". He walked up to the counter and said "how much are yer Fish Suppers, I can't see them anywhere on that board", the whole place was laughing I thought he was going to kill me!!!
What about sending Chrissy Kennedy into a shop one day to get Anthony a box of Always Ultra!! He went in and asked the girl behind the counter thinking they were headache tablets!!!! hahaha....
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Post by mrfish on Jan 27, 2010 12:00:00 GMT
im well looking forward to seeing this..anyone see the guardian the motbility cove that loves the dope phoned the peelers and told them somebody stroked his dope?? Don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life reading that last night, honestly pure class!!! ;D ;D Rang them up saying someone had stole his medication and when asked to explain he told them dope. They called to his house and found about 20 plants of the stuff!!! Pure touted on himself!!!! Cracker!!!! ;D ;D |
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Post by chesneybhoy on Jan 27, 2010 14:15:13 GMT
I mine the day me Durdur and daddy Buff were in KFC up in Glengormley 1 day, i turned to daddy Buff and asked him "what ye having Buff", he turns and says to me "am not that hungry, al just get a couple a battered sausages". Me and Durdur looked at each other and z nothing, next Buff asks the wee chinese burd behind the counter for 2 battered sausages, the place was packed and every1 burst out laughing. F**king hilarious ;D ;D
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Post by pele on Jan 27, 2010 14:32:14 GMT
I mine the day me Durdur and daddy Buff were in KFC up in Glengormley 1 day, i turned to daddy Buff and asked him "what ye having Buff", he turns and says to me "am not that hungry, al just get a couple a battered sausages". Me and Durdur looked at each other and z nothing, next Buff asks the wee chinese burd behind the counter for 2 battered sausages, the place was packed and every1 burst out laughing. F**king hilarious ;D ;D Ah f**k i could write a book way one liners about that family. My own personal favourite was when buff was getting a new bathroom suite in he asked the plumber was he finished the plumber says yes just have to go get the plug and buff says why is it electric? hahaha |
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Post by mrfish on Jan 27, 2010 14:47:19 GMT
I mine the day me Durdur and daddy Buff were in KFC up in Glengormley 1 day, i turned to daddy Buff and asked him "what ye having Buff", he turns and says to me "am not that hungry, al just get a couple a battered sausages". Me and Durdur looked at each other and z nothing, next Buff asks the wee chinese burd behind the counter for 2 battered sausages, the place was packed and every1 burst out laughing. F**king hilarious ;D ;D Ah f**k i could write a book way one liners about that family. My own personal favourite was when buff was getting a new bathroom suite in he asked the plumber was he finished the plumber says yes just have to go get the plug and buff says why is it electric? hahaha Hahaha, cracker.... Did two of said family not go to a computer store to complain the leads for their XBox controller's were too short and they had to sit right in front of the tv to play it??? Only to be told they were wireless controllers and the wee lead was only to charge them up? LOL.... |
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Post by Carlton Palmer on Feb 1, 2010 22:57:12 GMT
Oul John Davidson the barber would have to be a Ballymena Legend. The man knew every person in the town altho he would leave your hair like something outa World War2. Always remember the wee cuckoo clock  |
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Post by Mitty on Feb 2, 2010 8:12:40 GMT
Oul John Davidson the barber would have to be a Ballymena Legend. The man knew every person in the town altho he would leave your hair like something outa World War2. Always remember the wee cuckoo clock John was a legend. He knew everybody in the town and had about 5 stories on each of them. Hell of a hairstyle he had too He always would slabber about the poofs at McSwiggens though, he was an old skool gay basher! |
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Post by ratman on Feb 2, 2010 9:58:30 GMT
thats what you want to hear when your in getting your hair cut mitty, not a lot of meaningless s**te about holidays, right wing political views all the way...im thinking of getting a new haircut but i dont know what to go for so i said to my mum and she said 'ryan,why dont you get it done like one of your heros?' so i went for the adolf hitler...
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Post by mrfish on Feb 2, 2010 10:39:58 GMT
....you should get a lend of Shay Hamill's tash to go with it!!!
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Post by pele on Feb 2, 2010 14:26:17 GMT
Oul John Davidson the barber would have to be a Ballymena Legend. The man knew every person in the town altho he would leave your hair like something outa World War2. Always remember the wee cuckoo clock Haha old John nosey old c**t all he ever talked about was all the people selling up around the town '' Oh aye there getting the big money'' and as Mitty says knew f**king everyone. His jokes you just knew them off by heart when he finished cutting your hair the famous one... You'll be getting a big blonde the night hahaha |
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Post by ratman on Feb 4, 2010 12:58:13 GMT
[td][/td] ....you should get a lend of Shay Hamill's tash to go with it!!! that reminds me fishsticks kenny neilly tole me one time that shay was a fly b*****d cos kenny kept calling round at shays house after work and shay would never answer the door...turns out kenny was delivering takeaways til the early hours then landing at shays door any wonder kenco!! |
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Post by pele10 on Feb 4, 2010 14:10:16 GMT
hahaha! Quality Ratman! This thread is brilliant!
I remember Kenny Neilly when he used to play for Northend when my Da played -- I was only about 6 / 7 and they used to train in St Pats sports hall. One night Wee Kenny stuck the ball through Mickey Baxters legs - and then done it again and Mickey chased him around the hall shouting:
"You'll not be doing that again ya wee c**t when I break ur legs"
Chased him for about 15 mins -- didnt catch him right enough!!
Kenny still looks the same now as he did then too - he must be like the highlander or something as he doesnt seem to age!!
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Post by mrfish on Feb 5, 2010 10:39:42 GMT
.....Rat I can just imagine it....
Shay - "oh Kenny, everything ok? What time is it?"
Kenny - "Aye Shay not bad, it's twenty past two in the morning, just had a wee takeaway to deliver so I thought I'd call in and see how ye are"
Shay - "YAWN"
Kenny - "ye tired?? Here have one of these coffee's here, that keeps me up. While I'm here, I have three managers wanting me to sign in the BSML, Chimney Corner's after me and also Nescafe want me to play for their sponsership team in exchange for free paper cups lined with coffee, all I have to do is buy the boiling water. Don't know what I'll do. Someone once asked me to sign for All Saints too, Martin O'Laughran, back in 1995 but I don't know, I'd probably think about it ye know but there's so many after me I don't know what to do".........
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Post by ratman on Feb 5, 2010 10:59:42 GMT
lol...i heard kenny kenco was put on suicide watch when the one club rule was brought in the fairhill security guards were put on red alert..
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Post by mrfish on Feb 5, 2010 15:23:40 GMT
....I heard the Fairhill was on Code Red after hearing the introduction of the rule but Deputy Dogg eased their worries after assuring them......
"Kkkenny doesn't play golf sham"........
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Post by harty on Mar 3, 2010 9:34:36 GMT
I thought I was watching a trailer of the movie this morning when the Sherminator appeared on TV. Turned out he was just giving his views on the retirement of Mr Paisley. |
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Post by ratman on Mar 3, 2010 10:10:11 GMT
did anyone read shermans book about the bufc 1981 irish cup winning team?
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