FIREWORKS FOR SALE II

[ratman]

Halloween is coming its a great time of year
For stalking the streets and spreading some fear
Donkey derbies, bangers and stroking blue bins
The young folk of the borough love these shenanagins

So at this special time we have a few deals
On bangers and rockets and catherine wheels
Black and whites, pencils and black cats
All the bangers you need from arthur and his rats

We're raising some funds for our next operation
By selling some bangers at ballymena bus station
Arthurs day was good the funds did rain in
All in support of the great Arthur McClean

All volunteers, we need to meet that is clear
Midnight at Larne Harbour in full military gear
Theres a slowboat from china heading our way
With enough fireworks on board to blow up Devenagh Way

If the peelers stop you and ask what your doing
Take out a five shot and blow them a new one
Youll have 4 shots dont let them take you alive
Better to be a martyr for Arthur for that we all strive

Anyways boys, when you get back to the town
Straight to Dunfane to set the shipment down
First thing on Monday its down to the station
For God and Arthur and the Moat Road Nation...

[mrfish]

The Sea Arthur will arrive in Larne Harbour at 10,
It's the way Arthur likes it, loaded with Sea Men,
So be alert when you hear someone shout "ahoy",
Flash them yer lanyard to prove you're a Star Utd boy,

When they ask you what you want and why,
Tell them yer here for the bangers that fly,
They'll lead you away to a place where it's secure,
Search ye for wires and probe yer hole to be sure,

When that's all done and the coast is clear,
So is yer conscience as ye know yer not queer,
They might ask ye for a tale of McClean,
But tell them to f**k aff and meet us at Dunfane,

Now me and the Rat can't go ourselves,
We've to go to Arthur's basement and build a few shelves,
We must keep low for the sake of the Arthur Nation,
And we're on parole for attacking Cullybackey bus station,

At Dunfane we will meet in the dead of night,
The power will likely be out and hense no light,
For wee Ernie Beattle will be there to share his wit,
We'll light a banger and say "Ernie, hold this a minute"...

[ratman]

I hear ernie was selling coleraine programmes at ballycastle road on saturday. Some ballymena man he is...

[mrfish]

...I heard this too and the person telling me it has never lied to me in his life.....and he's bucked 200 donars!!!

I also heard the reason for this defection to Coleraine was because he heard that Dowie was running in and out of Craig Court bucking thon jezabels from Europe before and after signing for the Mena so that was that....

[COCO]

craig court what a place

[mrfish]

Wee Markus Gregg he stood there in the rain,
Looking sadly miserable and in some pain,
And as the rain poured steadily down greater Mount Street,
It was noticable Markus was white as a sheet,

"Why what's up Markus" I heard a neighbour say,
As they stopped to aid him in his state of dismay,
He looked upward with fist clenched in the sky,
He'd earlier heard in Craig Court there was pie,

Markus poor Markus was known for his sweet tooth,
As well as his loving for the polling booth,
And as he stood at his doorstep earlier that day,
He heard a couple of passing lads talk and this they did say,

"Here mate I'll tell you what we'll do,
We'll go to the hole in the wall and lift money to,
I heard there was a doll dressed as Little Bo Peep,
Up in Craig Court and her pie's going cheap",

Well poor wee Markus didn't want to miss out,
So he gave his auld ma Beattle a shout,
They dandered up to Craig Court and joined in the queue,
The sky wasn't the only thing about to turn blue,

They got to the end and were next to enter,
Markus hadn't been this excited since they opened Tower Centre,
Bo Beep appeared and not to be shy,
Markus said "right love, I want to see the pie",

She brought him and the ma into her flat,
Lay on her back and pulled out her rat,
Auld ma Beattle stood gawping like Pauline Fowler,
Saying "Markus why's she showing us her wee furry growler",

Markus panicked and ran for the door,
"I just wanted pie you fool auld whore",
He said to his ma "that was scarier than a Spice Girl called Mel",
"That's right son, she's a European Jezabell",

And that's why poor Ernie gregg was standing getting soaked,
On the slopes of Mount Street, passers by getting croaked,
This poor Ballymena Stalwart had only wanted a treat,
And instead some foreign donar offered him Fish Pie to eat....

[mrfish]

New in...



Our bangers have been tested on the Chinese...



Tried and Tested by Andrew Irwin...