rat a tat tat, wer u at???

[becks23]

wer r ye da rat.
r ye under a mat.
wer ye ate by a cat
maybe ur flat
after bein hit way a bat
or stuck out in slaght
wer r ye at??

[tomeboy]

He's away wif Nat
On a romantic week in slaght
Where she's showing him her twat
That wot he's at!!

[becks23]

well i wish he'd come back
cause he is good crack
the forums r wack
wen his attendance is slack

[tomeboy]

Yea he's good crack
and a terrific writer
Haste back
the AMcC Freedom Fighter

[knightswhosaynee]

I agree with what u say,
Why has ratman gone away,
Where will he stay,
He musn't be far away.
Will he back by the end of today,
Or has he been led astray,
No really one knows, what can i say
I just hope everything is ok.
De ya get meh!

[tomeboy]

Oh don't worry, he'll be fine,
He's prob out layin in the sunshine,
Knockin back a bottle of tonic wine,
Listenin to a funky rhyme,
Plottin his next vicious crime,
Makin sure he won't have to do no time,
Where u at rat? Give us a sign!

[becks23]

wer is the rat, its such a shame
as each day goes by, the more the pain
i really miss, those silly games
without him here, this place is lame.

ratman, is his name
on these forums, he has all the fame
if jill wasnt a lesbo, hed have that dame
hes my best mate, and our pubes are the same.

[ratman]

Wazzzzzzzuuuuuuuuuupp?? Roy McCeadie's back. Sorry leds, was out on saturday night and had a wile dose of the munchies on sunday, so i was scranning a lot of battered sausage rolls with curry sauce, next thing i knew i woke up in Antrim Area. Apparently i went into a sausage roll induced coma, and all my hair fell out. Im bald as a coot, ive got scepes of pubes left, and i look like a new born baby, reborn as Roy McCreadie.

Hello eveyone, its good to be back
Even though im bald and have no hair on my sack
Thanks everyone, i appreciate the concern
For a second i felt like my hero, big Barry Hearn
It means so much to know that you care
And softens the blow of having no hair.

[knightswhosaynee]

And so as the ratman tale draws to conclusion,
Everyone is happy and not left in confusion.
Back to claim his throne as the Freedom Fighters leader,
No time for this so called lesbo, he doesn't need her.
For a split second his followers didn't know what to do,
As they thought he had left to find the ninja turtles crew.
But they wrong and to there despair,
He's back for good, even though he's no hair.

[tomeboy]

Its gr8 to hav to back rat,
i'm glad to hear your merry.
I'm sure life will be good,
even though u are not hairy.

Your legs will be smooth,
U'll look more like a doll.
This will increase your chances,
With jill small!!

She's so hard to pull,
cause she is such a lesbo.
But get her to sign a form,
cause she is better than Crespo.

[becks23]

there u are my friend the rat.
were hav u been
wat hav u been at.

its been a lonely place, here on the web
weve been mostly discussing
jill smalls big neb

tomeboy thinks she'd be good in attack
i beg to differ
she'd be best at the back.

end of the day, it doesnt really matter
ud better watch out
its ur girl friend shes after

anyway shum im glad u have returned
cause as u see
its ur presence we all have yearned

[ratman]

Ive just been living down in the sewer
I know to you that may sound rather obscure
But i like it down there, i feel right at home
And you would agree ,f you seen the shape of my dome

Ive been keeping it low, just kicked back and chilled
That was until my whole family was killed.
But ill not bore you with that, its not the style of the rat
Im a chilled out entertainer from the city of Slaght

So hello my friends, its good to be back
On a night out i assure you, ill be some crack
In the name of our leader, the great arthur mcclean
Lets set up a roadblock in the village of Broughshane.

[becks23]

ok my man we'll head to broughshane.
but the police station there is a bit lame
theres not many people there to annoy
but we'll throw it up anyway the boy

should we say to lenny we could bring him along
he never really strays to far wrong
anyway rat how have u been
u on the weights cause ur lookin pretty lean

u know the way that ur back
well i can say that ud be some crack
and yes u do have some head at u
fancy going to see jill small at the zoo

u know its skin and andys birthday
r u going to get down and dirty
im going to be a total wreck
and coming back to urs to hear the decks

here does bertie thompson smoke??

[tomeboy]

Another road block, cool i will help you
I'll get a load of boys from the westend crew
i'll get cussy, richie, bernie and duck
They'll block anything, they dont give a f**k
After the road block we'll set things a light
those westend boys, they dont give a s**te
They'll put the pictures on their web site
I say we do it this friday nite
We'll block the road outside daryl adam's house
Then we can all go for a drink in the grouse

[ratman]

In response to becks, oh yes ill be there
Celebrating the birthday of young michael kerr
Well get back to mine and stick on the beat
Then hijack a bus and burn it out on the street

Tomeboy friend your plans good as well
When we reach the grouse well have a story to tell
Daryl deserves it, the mans a pure whinger
And to make matters worse hes an ugly big ginger

Becks has just asked me does Bertie Thompson smoke
Ill say in reply that this must be a joke
His breath and his clothes are bound to be stinky
He smokes more f*gs than the average chinky

On the subject of chinkys, would they ever gamble??
I think this is turning into a bit of a ramble
Buy hey what what the hell were just mucking about
Just like Michael Carroll aka The Lotto Lout

[becks23]

now now big darryls not the worst
if he had knees he could play for the hurst
a roadblock outside his house i'll still create
rat and tomeboy is he not ur mate
anyway who cares we'll still create her
hes just a ginger and a mastubator

[becks23]

happy birthday mr gage. wat age are ye now. 22? same age as me so u are i think. i remember us boys playing in the u14 cullybackey squad so u must be.

[tomeboy]

Cheers andy!! Just turned 23 today!! Getting old as f**k!! Yea remember the old cullybackey blues u14's!! We were some team and boydie bleck was gr8 manager!! Some head at him!!

[ratman]

What are you getting for your birthday tomeboy?? You going in to camerons later on??

[tomeboy]

I'm getting a scalextrix!! And £50 worth of vouchers for style n sport!! But i might trade the vouchers for a face at jill small cause thats where she buys all her clothes!!

[bigmanattheback]

did no one miss me?
thats plane too see
i havent got HIV
sure ratman's a star throughout this town
hes just soo dam funny acting the clown
the crack is mighty when he's about
sorry for calling you a AMCCFF tout
he's not bad at football nutmegs and all
Thats why we dont need young Kenny Paul
i know these rhymes are late on commin
but i learnt this shizit from scotty drumins

[becks23]

did u's boys ever see the ballymena allstars shirt in style n sport signed by jill. some head at her.

[ratman]

We did miss you bigman, and im glad your going out with the leds tomorrow night. The Wheelie Bin Boys on Tour 2005, s**t will be getting ripped up alright. Wile woman that Gill Small (head at her)....

[tomeboy]

Well lads hope you's have a good nite out
rat you really are a larger lout
If your doin a road block give me a shout
If you see daryl adams give him a clout
A big right hook on the snout
cause he's really ginger and really sad
but watch his knee cause it is bad
i used to think he was a straight lad
but hes ridin a romanian who is called Vlad
If u c any nice donors give me a call
one of them might be gill small
she might be up for a bit of fun
so i could maybe slip her the tounge
or bend her over and give her one

[ratman]

Gill small definately looks like a man
A cross between olive oil and desperate dan
Tomeboy your game if your up for a ride
But she probably wont want to no matter how hard you tried

If you want to go tomeboy theres room on the bus
If your not for going well probably ring cuss
Did i ever tell you i fell down a well
Stuck there for days, i was stuck in hell

When i got out i complained to the mayor
But that b*****d James Currie just didnt care
I said if you dont block the wells it could happen again
He said he would sort it but i wanted to know when

He said hed be be quick but he was fobbing me off
I needed celebrity backing so i foned Richard Gough
Richard was great, he foned Curry from Dover
Next thing i knew that well was closed over

I still wake up screaming when i think of that time
Thats why im sharing my feelings in this little rhyme
Every now and again id have a nightmare
When i think of that time and how the council didnt care

Thats why when it comes to elections i just never vote
Youd be better electing an old billy goat
It would probably care more for those stuck down a well
As far as im concrned Ballymena Borough Council can just go to hell

Thay just dont listen if your an average bloke
Their levels of concern are an absolute joke
It takes a famous footballer for them to listen
If they didnt exist no one would miss them.

[ratman]

"Ratmans poem was a damning indictment of local bureaucrats"

Saw this quote in the local paper about my rhyme there, just thought id ahre it with youse.

[tomeboy]

I agree rat the council are tome
they only care when richard gough is on the fone
that jame currie has got some dome
he looks like he's got down syndryome

Sorry rat cant go on your bus
so your just gonna have to call the westends cuss
He'll be good crack he drinks like a king
but just pray you dont have to hear him sing

He sang karoke at the westend dinner
the whole place cleared out, there was not a sinner
The windows broke and pint classes smashed
and their own wrists, some people did slash

Ur right gill does look like a bloke
her hairy legs would make you boke
We should get james currie to sort her out
instead of him being such a lay about

Richard Gough should give him another call
and say "here currie, do sumfin about that gill small"
That should do it, it should work greatly
if not he will need a call from Mark Hately

[becks23]

well ive marks number i'll give him a shout
i'll wait to after 5 then hes normally about
i already asked him do u like jill small
he said no becks, not at all
cause even tough hes a player hater
he still hates girls who use a vibrator

but hopefully the council can lock her away
put her in a womens prison and she'll have a field day
i dont think think it would be cruel
cause it would be like puttin a donkey in a field full of mules
its bad for ballymena that she is on the lose
cause all she wants to do is eat bush

[ratman]

We need to get the attention of the local powers
By getting in contact with some old rangers stars
And if the council's policy never alters
It might be time to bring in Mark Walters

I fell in the well at Sentry Hill
And only survived by God's good will
Wells may be fun if you're wanting to wish
But not if you fall in and land on your dish

So come on McKernan lets sort this out
And stop all this mucking about
Just go to these wells and cover them up
Like youse did in the park with the devils cup

[becks23]

maybe this is a job for the whellie bin crew
cause we dont care wat u say or wat u do
and rat we shouldnt let this stew
so watch out wells the WBC is coming to u

there a danger to kids and adults alike
kids could fall down if the brakes fail on their bike
if ur walking along in the middle of the night
u could fall down due to the lack of light

and our friend jill does some struttin
so its likely u could fall in and meet her in the at the bottom
and that would sort any of us out
espically me rat and tome who she'll definately clout!