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Post by goram on Apr 15, 2010 22:18:22 GMT
on sat a four ball heads 2 the north coast 2 play 18hole (unless duffy huffs when im beatin him )  looking forward 2 cing this nike gear of mancos , £1000 clubs  no credit crunch in glebe cottages . ;D hope campos has rented a set of sticks . ;D dress code , poloshirt,strides and golf shoes . loser payes the meal at the wine bar ... im on a fillet steak and choc brownie ;D   let the fun begin lads |
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Gaz23
New Signing
Posts: 7
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Post by Gaz23 on Apr 16, 2010 19:05:21 GMT
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Post by goram on Apr 16, 2010 20:48:58 GMT
duffy out swinging 2day ,,,,  he fears me |
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Post by goram on Apr 17, 2010 19:41:18 GMT
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Post by El Fenomeno 9 on Apr 18, 2010 13:36:20 GMT
Could I express on behalf of myself, Duffy and Campos our congratulations to Goram on winning the inaugural Portstewart Masters.
At times he was breathtaking, it was as though the golf ball obeyed his every instruction. His swing was poetry in motion and his execution perfection. Whenever he would address his ball, a hush would fall over the course as all around people stopped for a glimpse of a genius at work.
For those who could not be there in person and see this master craftsman at work let me summarise and pay tribute to
The Portstewart Masters - By Quotation of Goram[/b]
Hole 2 - Another duff iron. " Rubbish....ach Stewart this is absolute rubbish. I'm fed up already. If this is how this is goin to be today im finished. I'll get you's back at the motor" - Goram
Hole 4 - On the tee box. "Duffy get your ball back between the white stones. Stop tryin to cheat". -Goram
Then
"Dickey you're a crook these handicaps are not fair"
Hole 7 - Hits a mammoth drive all of 8 yards into the heather in front. "I'm hitting that again" - Goram
Dickey replies "No you're not, if me or Duffy did that you wouldn't allow it again (Goram had already pointed this out at a previous hole).
"You're some sportsman, if that's the way you want to play it then that's ok" - a red faced Goram bellows.
(Gorams playing partner Campos had already teed off and hit a boat in one genlemans back yard)
Hole 8 - Controversial scoring. Duffy says " I get 3 points for that on a par" Goram replies "No you don't Duffy you get 2!" A mini debate then ensues before with typical poise and grace a furious Goram then declares " That's it, you're wrong Duffy the scores have to be right - I'm phoning Cookie about this"
Goram then takes out his mobile and phones Cookie for clarification on the issue.
Hole 15 - Goram disappears behind some hazards and when he eventually makes the green, Duffy raises issue with the number of strokes counted. "Did you not duff one down there"
"No I did not" retorts Goram, "My second shot was a cracker"
"I thought you fluffed one just in front of you?"
A now visibly upset Goram tells Duffy to concentrate on his own game.
(one dogwalker when quizzed on this incident, afterwards remarked that she had seen one contestant lift his ball from an unplayable lie when out of sight and throw it in the direction of the flag)
Hole 18 - After a flurry of shots, reminiscent of cutting barley in the 18th century, Goram decides there is no need to further embarass his opponents by completing the last hole.
Goram, ever the consumate professional then berates his clubs -"That's woeful golf...useless...usless."
Dickey "What did you get there?" Goram replies " Just put a stroke through it." Dickey ventures further (slightly deviously) "Aye but I need to know how many shots so I can total you for the course"
Goram, at this point enraged at this questioning - "I got a ding would you just put that down!"
I hope this has given you some idea of the priviledge it was yesterday morning to witness an amazing display by a true champion. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by turfcutter on Apr 18, 2010 14:48:05 GMT
;D ;D ;D funny as f**k lad. great report Gorammmmm.....play fair |
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Post by pele on Apr 18, 2010 15:15:35 GMT
Cracking write up manco ;D Goram cheatin crying big c**t by the sounds of it then the usual one blaming the clubs ;D |
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Post by goram on Apr 18, 2010 15:28:12 GMT
reports 1st class i had a s**te day and still won ;D took me a week 2 get the rust of my clubs . must b years since i played ;D the hole i hit the 8yarder at , u drove out of bounds in 2 the building site . u tee up behind the white stones not 3foot yards in front . hope ur allowed 2 go next time . ur wife gave u a serious look when u arrived home an hr late ;D u were disappointed 2 get beat i c . il give u 100pound for the tiger clubs . 17th was a great hole for u ... the one that made the main rd  name the next time and course . im waitin |
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Post by silverfox on Apr 18, 2010 16:04:03 GMT
talking to harty the weekend he says roast duck is on the menu on monday night
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Post by El Fenomeno 9 on Apr 18, 2010 17:43:49 GMT
reports 1st class i had a s**te day and still won ;D took me a week 2 get the rust of my clubs . must b years since i played ;D the hole i hit the 8yarder at , u drove out of bounds in 2 the building site . u tee up behind the white stones not 3foot yards in front . hope ur allowed 2 go next time . ur wife gave u a serious look when u arrived home an hr late ;D u were disappointed 2 get beat i c . il give u 100pound for the tiger clubs . 17th was a great hole for u ... the one that made the main rd name the next time and course . im waitin You raise one or two interesting points Goram. Firstly you're quite correct in that the 17th was a poor hole for me with a wayward tee shot. As for the building site, I've no idea who you were watching but I certainly didn't venture there. I also can't wait to go out again, although perhaps groups of 2 would work better. The trouble with 4 is that there is a lot to keep an eye on. For instance it amazed me how your scoring improved dramatically on the back 9 and yet you hardly hit a fairway at any hole. (well, not the correct one anyway) Young Duffy made mention to me a time or two that there were a fair number of your shots we couldn't see because you disappeared into new found areas of the course. Yet whenever we all congregated on the green and the question was asked how many, the answer always came "2 or 3" ;D ;D Now forgive us for being a bit cynical but if you played those areas of rough the way you played the 18th (when we could see you) then.............................. The rules of the game permit practice swings big man, not practice shots. Your esteemed colleague and playing partner broke his silence and admitted you duffed a number of irons in the long grass and hit them again or set them up for yourself  So perhaps a referee will be needed to accompany the group next time By the way as for the tiger clubs, i hear you're down at the driving range hittin with my hybrid - i'll be having that back  |
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Post by goram on Apr 18, 2010 18:33:44 GMT
reports 1st class You raise one or two interesting points Goram. Firstly you're quite correct in that the 17th was a poor hole for me with a wayward tee shot. As for the building site, I've no idea who you were watching but I certainly didn't venture there. I also can't wait to go out again, although perhaps groups of 2 would work better. The trouble with 4 is that there is a lot to keep an eye on. For instance it amazed me how your scoring improved dramatically on the back 9 and yet you hardly hit a fairway at any hole. (well, not the correct one anyway) Young Duffy made mention to me a time or two that there were a fair number of your shots we couldn't see because you disappeared into new found areas of the course. Yet whenever we all congregated on the green and the question was asked how many, the answer always came "2 or 3" ;D ;D Now forgive us for being a bit cynical but if you played those areas of rough the way you played the 18th (when we could see you) then.............................. The rules of the game permit practice swings big man, not practice shots. Your esteemed colleague and playing partner broke his silence and admitted you duffed a number of irons in the long grass and hit them again or set them up for yourself So perhaps a referee will be needed to accompany the group next time By the way as for the tiger clubs, i hear you're down at the driving range hittin with my hybrid - i'll be having that back i was the king around the greens . u would think u were putting way a hockey stick . ;D i sunk the pressure putts . ur a bad loser best drive of the day . duffy hit a cracker down the middle wit a driver . i stepped up way a 3IRON and better it by 20yards . ;D on the links course , i love playing out of the rough , i started way a nike 1 and ended way it ... u forget that . when ur allowed out against , ill play u . hope u got the grass cut, weeds pulled,dishes done, house cleaning all done. sum list left by mrs dickey ;D ;D i came home and polish my winners medal . unlucky kid . keep the head up . |
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Post by El Fenomeno 9 on Apr 18, 2010 20:13:39 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D Your play on the greens was so good, you took a huff and wouldn't finish 3 holes Now pardon my ignorance because Im a newcomer to playin this points system, but I struggld to see how any man that doesnt complete 3 holes can claim victory of a round. Also you hit a full rounds worth of shots at the embankment you managed to locate at the 18th. Thought you werelookin a job cuttin shrubs ;D |
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Post by El Fenomeno 9 on Apr 18, 2010 20:15:30 GMT
As for driv of the day.... I left yous in my wake all day long |
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Post by goram on Apr 18, 2010 20:20:41 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D Your play on the greens was so good, you took a huff and wouldn't finish 3 holes Now pardon my ignorance because Im a newcomer to playin this points system, but I struggld to see how any man that doesnt complete 3 holes can claim victory of a round. Also you hit a full rounds worth of shots at the embankment you managed to locate at the 18th. Thought you werelookin a job cuttin shrubs ;D when u play points , no point taking a 8 when u dnt get a point . just back frm the driving range, improving my short game. we will learn u manco .
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Post by El Fenomeno 9 on Apr 18, 2010 20:26:58 GMT
any advice a player of your calibre could give would be greatly appreciated. teach me maestro |
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Post by goram on Apr 18, 2010 20:46:04 GMT
any advice a player of your calibre could give would be greatly appreciated. teach me maestro never run down the winner and make up stories goin 2 treat my self 2 a driver . put the famous 3 iron aside |
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Post by El Fenomeno 9 on Apr 19, 2010 8:56:10 GMT
I don't understand where you've took offence to anything i've said. My report was a ringing endorsement of some of the magical shots you played. We loved hearing the stories of when you played at Galgorm Castle how the members and club pro told you you were the next Arnold Palmer. I especially loved to hear them just as I was about to hit my tee shots or putt ;D ;D And you're quite right, you started with a Nike 1 and finished with 1. .......but then.. if you buy a box of a dozen balls, you get 3 Nike 1s ;D ;D |
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Post by goram on Apr 19, 2010 9:55:45 GMT
I don't understand where you've took offence to anything i've said. My report was a ringing endorsement of some of the magical shots you played. We loved hearing the stories of when you played at Galgorm Castle how the members and club pro told you you were the next Arnold Palmer. I especially loved to hear them just as I was about to hit my tee shots or putt ;D ;D And you're quite right, you started with a Nike 1 and finished with 1. .......but then.. if you buy a box of a dozen balls, you get 3 Nike 1s ;D ;D every 1 on the street , is at me bout u huffing on the course due 2 me hammering u . ;D i love beating boys that huff like children cos they dnt get there own way ;D ;D ;D ;D final word 2 end this is UR JEALOUS OF MY VICTORY ;D ;D |
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Post by El Fenomeno 9 on Apr 19, 2010 11:22:00 GMT
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Post by goram on Jun 19, 2010 17:47:06 GMT
back at portstewart 2day , pity duffy and dickey werent allowed out ... thumb marks on the heads .... cnt wait 2 tell yous bout my eagle putt.. the kilrea boys got taught a lesson 2day by tigerduck |
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Post by goram on Apr 22, 2011 14:12:10 GMT
i hope to recieve another green jacket tomara ... wee bale out today hitting ul need the practice lad goram to rock the record tomara ... bring it on |
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Post by Bale on Apr 22, 2011 14:22:07 GMT
i hope to recieve another green jacket tomara ... wee bale out today hitting ul need the practice lad goram to rock the record tomara ... bring it on Haha yes I was out getting the practice in, first iv played in over 6 months at least and didn't do too bad! I'll be out to take top spot in the thistle rankings Goram your in my way . . Roll on 1st tee ;D |
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Post by Rab on Apr 22, 2011 17:55:04 GMT
Its a westend day out in the port tomorrow, dont tell me the thistle are hitting the port too? |
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Post by mrfish on Apr 22, 2011 20:28:58 GMT
What about a bsml golf day.... Big Goram at the first tee...  Another Primark buy for Pele...  Pele and Bumface moderate proceedings ;D...  Big Stan doing what he does best....driving...  Bremner's private hole...  Fish on the Stevie Wonder Par 3...  Jeff declares, "f**k yer Primark Pele, I get mine from Ballykeel Flute Band"....  But it's poor Pele's big day that day...  |
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Post by pele on Apr 22, 2011 20:35:57 GMT
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Post by goram on Apr 22, 2011 20:39:32 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D
1st class fish ... jeff and the keel strides
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Post by goram on Apr 22, 2011 20:52:17 GMT
Its a westend day out in the port tomorrow, dont tell me the thistle are hitting the port too? dnt worry rab , we wont meet yous ... dont want campos pulling toffeemans curls again ... we will go 2 bangor now ;D |
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Post by mrfish on Apr 22, 2011 21:07:51 GMT
If Harty has to be on a green, he might as well be wearing an appropriate outfit...  Lenny's golf hat...  Pele's motto...  Darren Campbell and Alan Telford make the papers...  Big Micky King arrives to represent 7 Towers...  Jnr88 arrives to carry Tash and BFP's clubs...  Pepe and Bumface get competitive...  There's a queue at The Gill Small hole (first time for everything!!)...  Pele drives to his ball...  Kenny Neilly looks on...  Brems eyes a putt...  |
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Post by Jeff on Apr 22, 2011 21:21:47 GMT
;D
I thought ud fell out wi me you hadn't included me in ages ;D
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Post by mrfish on Apr 22, 2011 21:51:37 GMT
Des Birt tee's off (high feet ref ;D)...  Topofthetownclown strikes a pose...  Every sport has a bench for Fish and Junior Mott....  Pele's wee sunglasses...  "What did you say there Fish"...  Stevie Elliott grabs his balls....  Pele explains his idea of the rules to the ball...  One of Ahoghill's "young defenders"...  Mower tries to put Bumface of his shot...  Bumface isn't amused...  Sadly, Pat Hudson has to pull out early....  Rab always insists on shooting practice....  Dowie steps into Pele's line of vision on the green...  Big Goram's customized ball....  Smiley weighs up his options....  Sherman invites a couple of Broadway Legends (minutes silence pleeeeease)...  |
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no credit crunch in glebe cottages . ;D
